Big, Rich Texas on the Style Network

Now this is “must see TV.”  Big, Rich Texas, a new Reality TV show on the Style Network just launched on July 17.  It’s spectacular summer trash.  Set in Dallas (natch) this new series features mother/daughter teams navigating the world of country-club society.  Just to be sure we’re rooted in Texas, the second episode is  Beauty Queen Drop-Out.  From the Style network web site I can deduce that six blonde women and two brunettes are the “stars” of the program. I guess the Longhorn cow in front of them is just a prop.  We really don’t have Longhorns hanging around in major cities like Dallas. They prefer pasture land in the Texas Hill Country where there are blue bonnets to pose in.

It’s frightfully hard to differentiate the Moms from the Daughters.  That’s why the tab on the program web site, Meet the Cast, comes in handy as you acquaint yourselves with these Texas beauties.  The content of Beauty Queen Drop-Out included a Mom and Daughter duo at a bar, perhaps the Country Club bar, asking random patrons if the daughter needed a ‘boob job.”  Those Dallas girls may use language like that, but here in Houston we refer to it as “breast enhancement.” You know, it’s a little more classy.  Other visual nuggests included a beauty pageant where the girls received tiaras for dubious achievements the height of the speculators worn during the recent wedding of Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.  There’s a old Texas saying, ” the higher the hair, the closer to God,” and apparently this applies to tiaras as well.

It’s a train wreck, one I  just can’t stop watching.  I have to DVR the first episode, Welcome to the Club, so I can understand the labyrinthine ins and outs of belonging to a “posh” Country Club.   That way I can be fully prepared for the third episode in the series, Brawling Beauty Queens, which sadly doesn’t premiere until July 31.

To paraphrase a famous saying, “Texas, we have a problem.” Gosh, everyone is going to think that Barbie dolls escaped from the doll house and relocated to Dallas. But for gravitas several of the cast bios assures the sensible viewer that many of the Moms are professional women pursuing such career paths as “global marketing executive,” “pageant coach,” “boutique owner” and  “professional model.”  What? No petroleum engineers?

I for one am on the chuck-wagon.  I liked the BRT Facebook page and the Twitter account – and you should too.   I’ll be taping this beauty of a show and reveling in the sheer stupidity of good old fashioned Reality TV –  Texas style. We do everything bigger and better in Texas.

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